I'm a Master....
So, this past weekend has been an exhausting one.... For this weekend was the weekend in which I graduated from Grad School!!!! I have been taking classes through the Mid America Collegiate Consortium (MAAC) for the past year and a half. The consortium is a program that is made up of students from Baker University, University of St. Mary's and Mid-America Nazarene University (boo) all seeking their degree in Special Education. My cohort was the last cohort to pass through the program, and now the MAAC is defunct :(
If you remember from my initial post, I currently have a position teaching special education, but I was not "highly qualified" to hold this position! In the state of Kansas, individuals who have completed 9 hours of special education course work at the undergrad level can apply for a Provisional Special Education License. With this license comes the promise that you will work towards and complete your master's coursework to gain full certification in SpEd within 2 years. So, this has been my situation as of the past 2 years. I took my teaching job with a provisional license, and as required by the state and my district, I started and have now successfully completed the proper coursework for a Master of Science in Special Eduction degree!!!!
Anyways, let's get back to the good stuff; the on-goings of this hectic weekend!
My "weekend" officially started on Friday, because I used up one of my remaining 6 sick days in order to interview with a new school district for next year. This interview happened to be the second round interview for the position I was applying for! I take pride in this, because reaching the second round of interviews means that I was one of 4 people out of everyone interviewed actually being considered for the job.
This interview was one of those panel style interviews.... You know, the kind where they sit you in front of a group of "professionals" from the field and they drill you with questions about position the you are applying for, about your past, your present, your future, and your after life! So, I'm sure you can imagine the intensity and tension...... I sat at the head of this giant conference table, three people flanking me on either side at adjoining tables; all with pens in their hands, papers in front of them and stone cold stares on their faces.
I swear I wasn't nervous until I actually walked into the room, hung my jacket on the back of my chair and sat down.... Yeah, I had to wear a jacket in 85 degree weather because I don't own and umbrella and there happened to be a tsunami taking place outside this day. So, I'm sure thee people at the interview thought I was crazy or from the sun when they saw we walk in with a jacket! How could I possibly be cold!?
Anyways, the interview seemed to go well.... I answered the questions with the eloquence of a king or prime minister, the poise of a Miss America contestant, and the excitement of a guest on the soon-to-be-no-more Oprah Winfrey show! Everything seemed to be falling into place and the job seemed to be "in the bag" as they say UNTIL...... I used the word "scatterbrained" when describing a weakness of mine! YIKES! I honestly think that this was the defining moment of the whole entire interview!
One of the women, who just so happened to be the special ed coordinator for that building, had to ask me to clarify myself because I was "making her nervous" with the word scatterbrained! Holy Hannah! This comment made me nervous.... My palms started to sweat, I was short of breath, I was rapidly developing pit stains, I felt faint, my knees were shaking (and I was sitting down), my pulse was racing, I had a lump in my throat AND I started to stutter!!! I just knew at that moment I had completely BLOWN the interview!
However, I recovered the best way I knew how, tried to make a good impression and walked out of the school with my head held high....and my jacket over my head to keep me dry! I'm such an old woman sometimes!!!
So, after the interview I rushed home to clean my apartment in preparations for my expected weekend company. However, during the process of cleaning, I got side tracked by facebook chat, dust bunnies, the before mentioned Miss Winfrey, and making plans with friends for dinner! Needless to say, I didn't get nearly enough stuff cleaned before I rushed out the door to meet Jenalea for dinner at Ruby Tuesday. There was still laundry to be folded, floors to be vacuumed, and counters to be wiped. Oh well, I guess I'll leave it to the cleaning fairy....if he ever shows his face! Get it, FAIRY?
Dinner was fun! Jenalea and I reminisced about college, our lives and our jobs.... Oh, and made fun of our waiter Tommy, who was clearly THE GAY! He had the most high pitched voice, kind of like our frenemy Hali, and was probably the tallest person in America, rivaled only by Mr. Yao Ming himself!
So, after devouring my cheeseburger sliders - without caramelized onions - and watching Jenny inhale her humongous quesadilla, we decided that we wanted some fro-yo to seal the deal. So, we made our way to Lenexa's newest establishment, PEACHWAVE! This is a self-serve frozen yogurt place that is absolutely to die for! You have the choice of a BIG cup or an EVEN BIGGER cup, your choice of yogurt, your choice of toppings and are charged 36 cents per ounce at the end of the whole ordeal! I loaded my cup with vanilla, boring I know, yogurt and sprinkled it with Butterfinger pieces. I was heavenly.... but waaaaay too much for me but that definitely didn't stop me!
The only thing that would have made this whole experience better, besides being completely lathered up in the deliciousness, would have been the fact that there were no kids in the whole place, but that wasn't the case! There were children bouncing off the walls, swinging from the rafters and slinging ice cream from here to kingdom come! The decor of the building is already loud, so they definitely don't need the extra help with small children screamin' and hollerin' at their unattached parents for more love, which they substitute with fro-yo!
We hightailed it out of that place ASAP and headed somewhere a little more safe.... Missie B's!
Tajma was hosting that night, so we sat around and watched her and the Girlies caterwaul for a while.... Then Jenalea left with Courtney and Amanda to head back to Ottawa! It sure was good to see them all... and I was sure I would see them again real soon!!
Saturday finally came after a night of binge drinking and lip synching with the gays and it was time for my special weekend guests to arrive. I left for KCI Airport at 11:00 in order to be able to pick up my parents and cousin at 11:45 from their incoming flight from Dallas!
For the most part, the time spent with my parents this day was pretty uneventful. We ate, shopped, walked the mall, shopped, ate some more and hung at the apartment. Definitely uneventful! The real fun for Saturday didn't start until much later that night....
Every year on the night before graduation, Baker University, in conjunction with the Salt Mine, host an alumni event affectionately known as STAG! I'm not sure why it's called that or what it's significance is, but it just gives us former Baker students an excuse to venture back to Baldwin City, back to the Mine and back to our old habits of binge drinking!
I think this is my first Stag to attend as an official alumni, so I was definitely excited for the festivities to begin. So, Michael, Erica and I pile into the Vue and head down the the road to Baker with high hopes of a night filled with beer, well drinks, fun, friends and maybe a little scandal. However, that is not what we encountered.....
Upon our arrival in Baldwin, rain had started to fall, lightning began to strike and the wind started to pick up, all sure signs of an approaching storm, right!? RIGHT! I just don't think we knew the kind of storm we were getting ourselves into...
As we approach the bouncers at the gate, they inform us that a tornado has just been reported touching down in Reading, Kansas and that they aren't sticking around for much longer and advise that we do the same. I inform them that I have NO IDEA where Reading, Kansas is an that nothing is going to stand in my way of tonight.... So, we pay our money and head through the gate into what we hoped wouldn't be our last night on Earth. Keep in mind, the Rapture is supposed to be happening this night too, so we honestly don't have much of a chance at survival anyways, but we knew we wanted to go out with a bang, if all these predictions were true.
So, we find our friends and make our way to the outdoor bar, which is actually just a beer trailer and a couple of tables with sweet looking townies pouring the drinks! I order a beer for myself and 2 cranberry vodkas for Erica and Michael. We reconvene with our friends and then the apocalypse of weather starts to happen. The rain that was once sprinkling us lightly had turned into those comparable to the ones that covered the earth after Noah built his ark, the wind picked up to gale force speeds, and the tornado sirens decided to make their presence known! Initially, I wasn't concerned because Jenalea said the sirens had gone off a couple of times since they had been there and nothing really came of it, so I didn't think twice about it!
Then, in the middle of the typhoon came a pair of police lights flashing and they screeched to a halt outside the gates of the mine!
"SEEK COVER --- A TORNADO HAS JUST TOUCHED DOWN ON HIGHWAY 59!!!!"
"Where's 59 Highway?" asked Michael and Erica simultaneously as if rehearsed.
"Oh, that's just the road we came in on...." I responded.
No sooner had I finished that sentence, two of the biggest men in the whole entire place, and the beefy steroid raging security guards made a mad dash out of sight. I had never seen people of their sizes move so fast before in my life.... I honestly thought that they were running from the cop that had just warned us to take shelter!
Jenalea, Michael, Courtney, Sharon, Erica and myself stood around a bit longer staring at each other and discussing our options. Sharon offered us shelter from the storm in her sister's basement, but all I was really concerned about was finished this hot beer I had in my hand. Nothing else mattered at that moment.... I had spent my $3 on this thing and I wasn't going to let it go come hail or high water, which both seemed to be headed directly towards us!
Finally, we decided that it probably was best to leave instead of being carried away by the rumored tornado in Reading, Kansas....which I still have no idea where this place is. So, much to my chagrin I tossed the remains of my beer on the ground under the big top and bolted to my car! As I ran I could picture myself falling down in the mud, rolling my ankle and becoming immobile, or being carried away to the land of Oz by the world's largest tornado! Which one? I couldn't decide which would actually be worse or more humiliating at this point, but I figured either would make for a good post. Luckily for me, neither of the before mentioned mishaps took place! I made it to my car soaking wet, but safe! However, as I ran I could hear Erica in the background screaming "My titties are coming out!" Fist, I puked then I laughed.... That's what she gets for being so scantily clad!
Once in the car, we head to Sharon's sister's house to bombard her and her family for a safe, dry place out of the path of any twisters heading our way. Man, were we a sad looking bunch down in this basement. The girls were all soaked from head to toe, hair all in disarray and in some cases their bras showing through their lightly colored blouses! Michael and I were equally as wet and our hair was a little more presentable, but our bras were definitely not showing! Eventually, Wes showed up to our safe haven and joined us down in the basement for some more awkward exchanges..... I honestly felt completely awful busting into these people's house, disrupting their sleep, stealing their towels, and sitting on any flat surface available in their basement. However, we made as light of it as we could and tried our best not to seem as the burden that we were or felt like we were!
During the time in the basement, Wes and I kept up with the storms via twitter and Courtney spent her life trying to contact Amanda. I mean, I completely understand her initial concern, but once she found out that Amanda had made it home and was in their cellar accompanied by Dorcus, she continued to worry! THEN she decided that the best idea for her was to head into the eye of the storm and drive back to Ottawa so that she could be next to Amanda. I'm not really sure how she was going to be of any help if she was sucked up and thrown all the way to Omaha by the storm, but she felt like it was necessary to risk her life. I'm sorry, but I don't think there is anyone on this earth that I would make myself a prop for the next installment of Twister for, but maybe I'm just selfish!?
Anyways, the storms passed through our area without any damage to us, to Baldwin, to Baker and especially to the Mine!!! So, we decided that we would return to the party and pick up where we left off! I got to see some people that I hadn't seen in quite a while, most notably Jessica Lenhart! In all seriousness, I have not seen her since the day we graduated in 2009! It's been over 2 years! I think that is complete insanity and totally unnecessary. Oh, and to top it all off, I found out that she will be moving to Connecticut in July to start grad school! I super happy for her, but that just means I will not see her for another 2 years or more!!! However, despite how frustrating our relationship/friendship has become, I miss her a great deal and it was amazing to get to see her and talk to her about everything that we've missed over the course of the last couple of years! I definitely hope that we see a ton more of each other before she moves.....
Seeing Jessica was probably the highlight of the evening, besides surviving both the rapture and mother nature's fury! I still not completely convinced they didn't have something to do with one another, but hey I'm not Aristotle or anything!
My lowlight of the evening was when Kelli Servaes approached me, three sheets to the wind and started giving me a 45 minute filibuster about how much she hated Chimare! I mean, I'm all for being an opened ear to anyone who wants/needs to vent, but I couldn't get a word in edge wise with her. She kept getting louder and louder and closer and closer to my face. At one point we were so close that I thought I was going to have to kiss her.... I haven't been that close to a girl in God knows when! It made me nervous, but maybe a little excited? She was telling how much she hated her and everything that had happened in the past between them..... Let's just say I was well educated on the in and outs of sisterhood/sorority rivalries! Girls are vicious creatures by nature, but sorostitutes are a whole different breed!!! I heard about drinks being pour/thrown on people, name calling, curse words, threats being made..... It was a little scary, I won't lie!!!
So, I guess you could say I survived 3 things that night; a tornado, the Rapture and Kelli's wrath! Man, I may be going for a record or superhero status? Don't get me wrong, I love Kelli S., but I think she may have had one drink too many that night, even though she swore she was sober!!
Despite all the happenings around us, I was able to engage in a little bit of my favorite past time while at the Mine.... PEOPLE WATCHING! When it comes to people watching I like to think I'm a pro at it! Here are some of the things that I observed:
If you remember from my initial post, I currently have a position teaching special education, but I was not "highly qualified" to hold this position! In the state of Kansas, individuals who have completed 9 hours of special education course work at the undergrad level can apply for a Provisional Special Education License. With this license comes the promise that you will work towards and complete your master's coursework to gain full certification in SpEd within 2 years. So, this has been my situation as of the past 2 years. I took my teaching job with a provisional license, and as required by the state and my district, I started and have now successfully completed the proper coursework for a Master of Science in Special Eduction degree!!!!
Anyways, let's get back to the good stuff; the on-goings of this hectic weekend!
My "weekend" officially started on Friday, because I used up one of my remaining 6 sick days in order to interview with a new school district for next year. This interview happened to be the second round interview for the position I was applying for! I take pride in this, because reaching the second round of interviews means that I was one of 4 people out of everyone interviewed actually being considered for the job.
This interview was one of those panel style interviews.... You know, the kind where they sit you in front of a group of "professionals" from the field and they drill you with questions about position the you are applying for, about your past, your present, your future, and your after life! So, I'm sure you can imagine the intensity and tension...... I sat at the head of this giant conference table, three people flanking me on either side at adjoining tables; all with pens in their hands, papers in front of them and stone cold stares on their faces.
I swear I wasn't nervous until I actually walked into the room, hung my jacket on the back of my chair and sat down.... Yeah, I had to wear a jacket in 85 degree weather because I don't own and umbrella and there happened to be a tsunami taking place outside this day. So, I'm sure thee people at the interview thought I was crazy or from the sun when they saw we walk in with a jacket! How could I possibly be cold!?
Anyways, the interview seemed to go well.... I answered the questions with the eloquence of a king or prime minister, the poise of a Miss America contestant, and the excitement of a guest on the soon-to-be-no-more Oprah Winfrey show! Everything seemed to be falling into place and the job seemed to be "in the bag" as they say UNTIL...... I used the word "scatterbrained" when describing a weakness of mine! YIKES! I honestly think that this was the defining moment of the whole entire interview!
One of the women, who just so happened to be the special ed coordinator for that building, had to ask me to clarify myself because I was "making her nervous" with the word scatterbrained! Holy Hannah! This comment made me nervous.... My palms started to sweat, I was short of breath, I was rapidly developing pit stains, I felt faint, my knees were shaking (and I was sitting down), my pulse was racing, I had a lump in my throat AND I started to stutter!!! I just knew at that moment I had completely BLOWN the interview!
However, I recovered the best way I knew how, tried to make a good impression and walked out of the school with my head held high....and my jacket over my head to keep me dry! I'm such an old woman sometimes!!!
So, after the interview I rushed home to clean my apartment in preparations for my expected weekend company. However, during the process of cleaning, I got side tracked by facebook chat, dust bunnies, the before mentioned Miss Winfrey, and making plans with friends for dinner! Needless to say, I didn't get nearly enough stuff cleaned before I rushed out the door to meet Jenalea for dinner at Ruby Tuesday. There was still laundry to be folded, floors to be vacuumed, and counters to be wiped. Oh well, I guess I'll leave it to the cleaning fairy....if he ever shows his face! Get it, FAIRY?
Dinner was fun! Jenalea and I reminisced about college, our lives and our jobs.... Oh, and made fun of our waiter Tommy, who was clearly THE GAY! He had the most high pitched voice, kind of like our frenemy Hali, and was probably the tallest person in America, rivaled only by Mr. Yao Ming himself!
So, after devouring my cheeseburger sliders - without caramelized onions - and watching Jenny inhale her humongous quesadilla, we decided that we wanted some fro-yo to seal the deal. So, we made our way to Lenexa's newest establishment, PEACHWAVE! This is a self-serve frozen yogurt place that is absolutely to die for! You have the choice of a BIG cup or an EVEN BIGGER cup, your choice of yogurt, your choice of toppings and are charged 36 cents per ounce at the end of the whole ordeal! I loaded my cup with vanilla, boring I know, yogurt and sprinkled it with Butterfinger pieces. I was heavenly.... but waaaaay too much for me but that definitely didn't stop me!
The only thing that would have made this whole experience better, besides being completely lathered up in the deliciousness, would have been the fact that there were no kids in the whole place, but that wasn't the case! There were children bouncing off the walls, swinging from the rafters and slinging ice cream from here to kingdom come! The decor of the building is already loud, so they definitely don't need the extra help with small children screamin' and hollerin' at their unattached parents for more love, which they substitute with fro-yo!
We hightailed it out of that place ASAP and headed somewhere a little more safe.... Missie B's!
Tajma was hosting that night, so we sat around and watched her and the Girlies caterwaul for a while.... Then Jenalea left with Courtney and Amanda to head back to Ottawa! It sure was good to see them all... and I was sure I would see them again real soon!!
Saturday finally came after a night of binge drinking and lip synching with the gays and it was time for my special weekend guests to arrive. I left for KCI Airport at 11:00 in order to be able to pick up my parents and cousin at 11:45 from their incoming flight from Dallas!
For the most part, the time spent with my parents this day was pretty uneventful. We ate, shopped, walked the mall, shopped, ate some more and hung at the apartment. Definitely uneventful! The real fun for Saturday didn't start until much later that night....
Every year on the night before graduation, Baker University, in conjunction with the Salt Mine, host an alumni event affectionately known as STAG! I'm not sure why it's called that or what it's significance is, but it just gives us former Baker students an excuse to venture back to Baldwin City, back to the Mine and back to our old habits of binge drinking!
I think this is my first Stag to attend as an official alumni, so I was definitely excited for the festivities to begin. So, Michael, Erica and I pile into the Vue and head down the the road to Baker with high hopes of a night filled with beer, well drinks, fun, friends and maybe a little scandal. However, that is not what we encountered.....
Upon our arrival in Baldwin, rain had started to fall, lightning began to strike and the wind started to pick up, all sure signs of an approaching storm, right!? RIGHT! I just don't think we knew the kind of storm we were getting ourselves into...
As we approach the bouncers at the gate, they inform us that a tornado has just been reported touching down in Reading, Kansas and that they aren't sticking around for much longer and advise that we do the same. I inform them that I have NO IDEA where Reading, Kansas is an that nothing is going to stand in my way of tonight.... So, we pay our money and head through the gate into what we hoped wouldn't be our last night on Earth. Keep in mind, the Rapture is supposed to be happening this night too, so we honestly don't have much of a chance at survival anyways, but we knew we wanted to go out with a bang, if all these predictions were true.
So, we find our friends and make our way to the outdoor bar, which is actually just a beer trailer and a couple of tables with sweet looking townies pouring the drinks! I order a beer for myself and 2 cranberry vodkas for Erica and Michael. We reconvene with our friends and then the apocalypse of weather starts to happen. The rain that was once sprinkling us lightly had turned into those comparable to the ones that covered the earth after Noah built his ark, the wind picked up to gale force speeds, and the tornado sirens decided to make their presence known! Initially, I wasn't concerned because Jenalea said the sirens had gone off a couple of times since they had been there and nothing really came of it, so I didn't think twice about it!
Then, in the middle of the typhoon came a pair of police lights flashing and they screeched to a halt outside the gates of the mine!
"SEEK COVER --- A TORNADO HAS JUST TOUCHED DOWN ON HIGHWAY 59!!!!"
"Where's 59 Highway?" asked Michael and Erica simultaneously as if rehearsed.
"Oh, that's just the road we came in on...." I responded.
No sooner had I finished that sentence, two of the biggest men in the whole entire place, and the beefy steroid raging security guards made a mad dash out of sight. I had never seen people of their sizes move so fast before in my life.... I honestly thought that they were running from the cop that had just warned us to take shelter!
Jenalea, Michael, Courtney, Sharon, Erica and myself stood around a bit longer staring at each other and discussing our options. Sharon offered us shelter from the storm in her sister's basement, but all I was really concerned about was finished this hot beer I had in my hand. Nothing else mattered at that moment.... I had spent my $3 on this thing and I wasn't going to let it go come hail or high water, which both seemed to be headed directly towards us!
Finally, we decided that it probably was best to leave instead of being carried away by the rumored tornado in Reading, Kansas....which I still have no idea where this place is. So, much to my chagrin I tossed the remains of my beer on the ground under the big top and bolted to my car! As I ran I could picture myself falling down in the mud, rolling my ankle and becoming immobile, or being carried away to the land of Oz by the world's largest tornado! Which one? I couldn't decide which would actually be worse or more humiliating at this point, but I figured either would make for a good post. Luckily for me, neither of the before mentioned mishaps took place! I made it to my car soaking wet, but safe! However, as I ran I could hear Erica in the background screaming "My titties are coming out!" Fist, I puked then I laughed.... That's what she gets for being so scantily clad!
Once in the car, we head to Sharon's sister's house to bombard her and her family for a safe, dry place out of the path of any twisters heading our way. Man, were we a sad looking bunch down in this basement. The girls were all soaked from head to toe, hair all in disarray and in some cases their bras showing through their lightly colored blouses! Michael and I were equally as wet and our hair was a little more presentable, but our bras were definitely not showing! Eventually, Wes showed up to our safe haven and joined us down in the basement for some more awkward exchanges..... I honestly felt completely awful busting into these people's house, disrupting their sleep, stealing their towels, and sitting on any flat surface available in their basement. However, we made as light of it as we could and tried our best not to seem as the burden that we were or felt like we were!
During the time in the basement, Wes and I kept up with the storms via twitter and Courtney spent her life trying to contact Amanda. I mean, I completely understand her initial concern, but once she found out that Amanda had made it home and was in their cellar accompanied by Dorcus, she continued to worry! THEN she decided that the best idea for her was to head into the eye of the storm and drive back to Ottawa so that she could be next to Amanda. I'm not really sure how she was going to be of any help if she was sucked up and thrown all the way to Omaha by the storm, but she felt like it was necessary to risk her life. I'm sorry, but I don't think there is anyone on this earth that I would make myself a prop for the next installment of Twister for, but maybe I'm just selfish!?
Anyways, the storms passed through our area without any damage to us, to Baldwin, to Baker and especially to the Mine!!! So, we decided that we would return to the party and pick up where we left off! I got to see some people that I hadn't seen in quite a while, most notably Jessica Lenhart! In all seriousness, I have not seen her since the day we graduated in 2009! It's been over 2 years! I think that is complete insanity and totally unnecessary. Oh, and to top it all off, I found out that she will be moving to Connecticut in July to start grad school! I super happy for her, but that just means I will not see her for another 2 years or more!!! However, despite how frustrating our relationship/friendship has become, I miss her a great deal and it was amazing to get to see her and talk to her about everything that we've missed over the course of the last couple of years! I definitely hope that we see a ton more of each other before she moves.....
Seeing Jessica was probably the highlight of the evening, besides surviving both the rapture and mother nature's fury! I still not completely convinced they didn't have something to do with one another, but hey I'm not Aristotle or anything!
My lowlight of the evening was when Kelli Servaes approached me, three sheets to the wind and started giving me a 45 minute filibuster about how much she hated Chimare! I mean, I'm all for being an opened ear to anyone who wants/needs to vent, but I couldn't get a word in edge wise with her. She kept getting louder and louder and closer and closer to my face. At one point we were so close that I thought I was going to have to kiss her.... I haven't been that close to a girl in God knows when! It made me nervous, but maybe a little excited? She was telling how much she hated her and everything that had happened in the past between them..... Let's just say I was well educated on the in and outs of sisterhood/sorority rivalries! Girls are vicious creatures by nature, but sorostitutes are a whole different breed!!! I heard about drinks being pour/thrown on people, name calling, curse words, threats being made..... It was a little scary, I won't lie!!!
So, I guess you could say I survived 3 things that night; a tornado, the Rapture and Kelli's wrath! Man, I may be going for a record or superhero status? Don't get me wrong, I love Kelli S., but I think she may have had one drink too many that night, even though she swore she was sober!!
Despite all the happenings around us, I was able to engage in a little bit of my favorite past time while at the Mine.... PEOPLE WATCHING! When it comes to people watching I like to think I'm a pro at it! Here are some of the things that I observed:
- I observed Jessica Lenhart being surrounded by men
- There was a couple, a blonde soccer player and his red-headed girlfriend, fighting all night long
- A man peeing behind the tent, then getting caught by the owner of the bar
- Johnathan Affalter looking for Allyssa King
- A boy, who was clearly the GAY, dancing like a maniac on the poles holding up the big top, on random girls that passed by, and even on his knees in the mud! (definitely the gay!)
- Hayden H. and Jena D. being bitches like they usually were, wearing stupid dresses and galoshes
- Dan Clifford looking for Allyssa (apparently she has a spell on these people)
- Sharon's wet hair after the storm and her bitterness about it
- Jenalea walking through the torrential downpour without flip flops
- Wes' extremely large butt (which seems to get bigger every time I see him)
- Kirbee's new tan
- Kelly Dunn's younger brother falling down in the mud, crying and having to be carried out by bar staff and loaded into the backseat of someone's car
- Emily Nickel's greasy hair
- My shoes covered in mud
- The awkwardness the storm created for Sharon's family and all of her friends in the basement
- Hali's annoying voice
- Wes wishing he was still with Hali
- Michael checking out college co-eds
- Kelli yelling at me about Chimare
I'm sure I observed some other suspicious behavior, but I can't think of it at the moment! Damn my memory!!!
Now, we can move on to graduation day. It started off pretty slowly, but rapidly sped up as the day progressed. After everyone at my place decided to wake up, Erica and I picked up some "Hot 'n Ready" Pizza from Little Ceasar's.... The pizza was hot, but it wasn't ready when we got there! That was kind of a bummer..... After we ate, it was time to dress for graduation! I steamed my gown and button down, helped mom decide what shirt best matched the skirt she was going to wear, watched my dad doze in and out of consciousness on the couch waiting for all of us to get dressed, and helped Erica find her missing perfume and deodorant that turned out to be in her suitcase! Once everyone was dressed we headed out to Baker!
Now, this made my third graduation in the past 7 years, so I've kind of become accustomed to the whole pomp and circumstance of the occasion, but my mom has not! She still cries at the thought of me graduating, and I'm not quite sure why, but it's pretty endearing nonetheless! With that being said, Mom, Dad, Erica and I parted ways once we got to Baker so I could join my fellow graduates to prepare for our walk into Collin's Center.
All the graduates were asked to meet in Mabee gym and line up by degree once we got there. I found some familiar faces and lined up with them in our caps, mortarboard tassels and gowns and looked around the room at all the other people! We were the second smallest group of graduates in the gym; there were 7 of us! Those people receiving their doctorate degrees were even smaller than we were with I think 5 people. The other degrees had at least 20 graduates.... It was during this brief look around the room that I started to think:
Is this really happening? Am I really about to walk across the stage and get my Master's degree? How can this be? Where has all the time gone?
I was quickly snapped back to reality when Tara Vandelinde grabbed me by the arm and screamed "Watch out!!" Apparently in my moment of reflection the people carrying the flags for the commencement ceremony had starting making their way to the front of the line. In the process, the woman carrying Ol' Glory, the American flag, decided that she would rather walk right through me instead of around me! She had the eagle on the end of the flagpole aimed right at my head and was in a beeline straight for my brain! She was more concerned with her stupid black gown than she was about where she was going and in the process she almost made me into a kabob!!! I guess that makes the 4th near death experience I had over the course of this weekend.....
Now back in the present world, we start our march from Mabee to Collin's center, which is 50-60 yards at the most, lead by the St. Andrew's Pipe and Drum Brigade! I'm not really sure they are a brigade, but I like the way that sounds.... This is probably one of my favorite parts about graduating from Baker! I just think its so different and unique and really makes graduation a lasting memory!
So, we file into the gym, one by one....me bringing up the rear of the whole line of graduates. Yes, I was last. Dead. Last.
On the way in, I scour the audience for familiar faces, most notably my family and friends. Right away I see Debbie Chou and her fiancee Bobby in the very top corner of the gym..... then I see Jenalea, Sharon and Jacob Steven Linnell back behind me a bit, but I still haven't seen my parents! Finally, after about 10 minutes of looking and listening to the bag pipes and drums play I spot my mom, my dad, Erica and Michael about half way up the bleachers directly to my right! Now, I can breathe easy, sit back and relax!!!
Well, at least I thought I could. It turns out that Sunday, May 22, 2011... the day after the rapture, was going to be the hottest day of the year so far! And, to top it all off, I don't think Baker had the climate control running in the gym! I was immediately drenched from head to toe with sweat.... My clothes and my gown were sticking all over my body and I was super uncomfortable. In addition to that, for some reason the people setting up the seats for graduation decided that it would be wise to put the seats as close as possible to one other. I mean, I could barely fit my big ass on one of them.... Honestly, when I sit down I spread out like peanut butter, so I know that I was taking up like have 3 seats to myself and probably half of the person's seat next to me. So, being that close to Tara made me extra hot! I tried to find something to fan myself with; my hand didn't work, so I turned to my name card, which was just a small index card. It worked for about 30 seconds, then I was tired of flapping it back and forth..... because I'm lazy, which is probably why I needed so many seats and why I was sweating so much!
I was able to tough it out though, I sat through a pretty good speech by some former Baker board member turned real estate agent turned photographer turned old man turned honorary speaker. He spoke about the state of the education system and how it was up to us, the graduates from the school of education, to make the change we wanted to see in the flawed system before us. I was moved a little....but then I realized it was because I was uncomfortable in my chair and that sweat was running places it shouldn't have been!
After all the speeches were given and honorary awards were handed out, it was time to announce the graduating class or 2011 from Baker University's SOE..... First they started with those receiving their Doctorate! I don't know about anyone else, but the woman who was reading the names of those receiving their degree was the most dramatic reader ever! Every time she read a candidate's name I wanted to jump to my feet and scream and yell with excitement! I think I even teared up a few times!!!! She was amazing!!!
Her script when something like this:
Candidate Clamydia Berns....
Advisor: Val Trex
Area of Focus: A Longitudinal Study of the Effects of Sexual Education on teenage pregnancy rates in Jr. High/Middle School Students
Ladies and Gentlemen Doctor Clamydia Berns
It's not as good without her voice, but try reading it out loud to yourself in the most dramatic way possible.....
Anyways...after all the doctorate students were announced and EVERYONE else had been announced including the janitors that cleaned the toilets that day, the cook who baked the cookies for the reception and the florist who arranged all the decorations on stage it was finally my turn to be called....
I followed the line of fellow MSSE students to the stage and watched as one by one they were called and they got their diploma:
Rachel Kemper
Cara McCoy
Jennifer Rosenbaum
Natatlie Stuetterman
Tara Vandelinde
and finally.....
Jeremy Wayne Webb
I hugged Merrie Skaggs and stepped on stage.... Walked a few steps.... hugged Peggy Harris (dean of SOE).... Walked a few more steps got my diploma from Dr. Pat Long, hugged her, took a picture, walked another step, shook hands with Hoot, walked a few more steps and exited the stage.... hugged Dr. Doolittle (not kidding) then took my official grad pic with my diploma and the Kansas and American flag behind me! Luckily it wasn't the flag that almost killed me before!!!
Finally one last person to hug and that was Dr. Amy Wintermantel....the biggest influence on my SpEd career to date!!!
I HAD DONE IT!!! I graduated!!!
Celebrations were definitely in line! I celebrated with family and friends at Taqueria Mexico on Southwest Boulevard in KCMO! After that Erica and I went out for a night on the town, which turned out to be a LOT of fun.... I was pleasantly surprised by that considering I wasn't really in the mood to go out until we actually left my apartment!
Finally came the day for my parents and Erica to leave! But first we had to some shopping for my new nephew. So, I lugged the family back to the Oak Park Mall for a fast and furious shopping spree! We hit up all the big baby stores, Crazy 8, Baby Gap, Gymboree, JC Penney's, the Disney Store and Victoria Secret. My mom bought about a million things for both Gabrieal and Kyri but hey, I'm sure they deserved it all!
So, now we are super rushed to get to the airport in time for my parents to catch their flight. We arrive at KCI around 5:15 which is an hour before their flight is scheduled to leave..... For some reason there is an abnormally long line at the ticketing counter for Southwest and my family had to wait for about 45 minutes before they can get their boarding passes! By the time they do this and check their bags its 6:00 and their flight is leaving in 15 minutes.
I'm not sure how many of you know my family, but they could be probably some of the slowest moving creatures on Earth! I guarantee that most if not all of them will be late to their own funerals.... So here we are with about 10 minutes to spare before take off running through KCI! Mom is lagging behind, Erica is out in front and dad is somewhere in the middle.... mind you they haven't even gone through security yet! We definitely look like we are reenacting a scene from Home Alone! We reach the security line and I start telling everyone goodbye! Mom immediately bursts into tears....while she's still running to make it on the plane in time! Dad is like, "what are you doing? You are going through with us, aren't you?!" "I can't!!!" I answered!!! Meanwhile Erica seems to be the only one with a clue and is hugs my neck without missing a beat and is in line for security....
Mom is sobbing and trying to tell me bye at the same time.... finally I just say "Mom, you have to go or you'll miss the plane! Call me if you don't make it and I'll come back!"
So, I leave them in a state of panic....probably breaking a sweat from their dead sprint through the terminal!
I make it to my car and am about to leave the parking garage when my mom calls....
Mom: "Jeremy, where are you?"
Me: "Leaving the airpot, did you guys not make it?"
Mom: "No, we can't get take this lotion stuff with us, can you come back and pick it up?"
Me: "Mom, are you serious, you need to get on the plane!"
Mom: "Well, your dad really wanted it and he just bought it today.... "
Security Woman: "Ma'am if you don't get on the flight now it's going to leave without you!"
Mom: "Nevermind, I guess we'll just throw it away even though we haven't gotten to use it!"
I guess she figured if she guilt tripped the woman she would let it slide....WRONG!!!
By this point it's 6:25 and I'm certain that have missed the flight! I haven't heard anything back from anyone.... then I get this text from Erica:
"Made it :)"
Really? Is this a time to smile?! But then I burst into laughter and let out a GIANT sigh of relief!
So, my weekend is officially over and now I'm back to work today!
I'm sorry that this post has turned into so much but I felt like I had to give all if not most of the stories I could remember! I'll post pictures of everything I can when I get them uploaded.....
But anyways..... I can't believe that I'm finished with grad school? What's next? Who knows.... I guess you'll just have to stay tuned for my next Z-List adventure..... Even though getting a master's really was my A-List moment!
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